"People hold onto something because they fear nothing that great will ever happy to them again."
I think that's how I've been living lately. I'm not sure what exactly it is that I've held on to, but I've held on for far too long. I'm craving change but I can't exactly pinpoint what I want to change. I bought a new car a couple of months ago but apparently, that wasn't the change I was craving. I'm at a point in life where I feel almost left out. I turn 24 on July 31. I'm not married. I don't have any kids. I still live at home. I want to change all of those things but, I'm not going to rush it because I know God has a plan and He is apparently using me for other things right now. Like I said...I turn 24 next month so it's not like I'm some old maid. But the more I think about it, the more I start to realize that maybe...just maybe those things are the things I crave. I want a husband. I want kids. I want so desperately to move out. And it all rolls back to needing a husband to do all of those. I can't move out right now because I can't afford to. Oh how I wish I could though. I know I have a good life but I can't help but think those things would make life just a little more sweeter.
"I may not have gone where I intended to go but I think I ended up where I intended to be" Douglas Adams
I originally started this blog because I need a place where I could talk about Sherry. At the time, I felt like I really couldn't talk to anyone (except on Q) because everyone wasn't sure what to say. Or they were afraid to say anything or ask about her because they didn't want to upset me. At the time, I felt like I had no one to turn to. And so, I wrote. Not to really inform people. Just so I wouldn't go crazy. You wouldn't believe the amount of stress that took off me. It was such a relief for me to write. I would get done with an entry and feel like I had talked to someone for an hour. It help me so much afterwards because while I was horribly upset she had passed, I knew I would be ok because I didn't keep all of it pent up inside me. I had released it all and it felt really good. I think I need to start doing that again. I have SO much kept inside that I'm just bursting to tell everyone. I'll try to do my best with writing at least once a week.
So, here goes nothing...
My secretary at work quit about 2 months ago. Emily and I had become such good friends and we had become so close, that it felt like we broke up when she quit. We go to church together so I still get to see her. It's still not the same. I missed her so much because she was the one that would always listen when I would complain or when we had nothing to do at work, we would just talk about anything. We haven't replaced her yet. I'm not sure if that's good or not. I HATE training people because I like to have things a certain way and no one can seem to do it. And it's not that I'm a control freak, it's just that everyone else in the office is used to my way and it's just easier and goes smoother. But on the other hand, we've been pretty busy and it drives me crazy with all the work I have to do. This month has been the best month business wise since the economy took a nose dive. We've had to deal with a lot of cut budgets and what not. But it's the end of the fiscal year for a lot of people so THANK GOD we've had more business.
I've become quite addicted to solitaire. Sad, I know. In my down time at work, I play it. I'm getting really good at it, too.
Jaclyn, my bff, is coming in this weekend and we are going to see Wicked on Saturday afternoon!!! I'm SOOOOO excited! Not only to see her but to see Wicked! I stood in line for THREE hours to get those tickets. But, I've heard the show is worth it!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!
I'll be getting my bridesmaid dress soon. I'm scared. Pray I lose weight. I've gotten fat and I'm afraid I won't fit into it cause I haven't lost a lot of weight lately. I'm trying to eat healthier and for lunch today, I brought a pbj sandwich and watermelon and cheesenips and one of my salesmen asked if I was pregnant. WTF! NO, I'm NOT pregnant. Idiot. Geez. That really hurt my feelings. Am I that fat that I look pregnant? He tried to say "well, that's just an odd combination of food" and my boss, Brenda, was like "no, it's healthy food".
I've been trying to go to bed a little earlier. Hasn't really worked until last night. I got in bed right at 10 and was asleep by 10:30. It was really nice. But my sleeping is all messed up anyways so IDK what the deal is. I just need some sleep! Makes me a happier person.
Anyways. I think this is all for tonight. I'll try to write more!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Writing is really a great way to get a load off of your chest. It helps me so much.
ReplyDeleteI hope that Wicked is amazing! I'm sure you'll have a good time.
And remarks like that about what people are eat really, really irritate me. And people wonder why girls have so many problems with body image these days.
Writing is definitely my way of releasing stress and frustration. It's helped me pretty much my whole life!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for October when I hopefully get to see Wicked. I've heard that it's absolutely incredible!
I hope the bridesmaid dress fits wonderfully. And I would have punched the salesman in the face. What you eat is your business...I hate when people feel the need to comment on that. Ugh. Some people just don't think before they speak...and they need to learn. Geez.